Alien Provocateur: Trust No One
Two humourous scifi short stories around alien contact.
Alien Provocateur: Trust No One. A trope-filled sci-fi tale. Based on real life clinical experiments by Nicola Pugno.
With a Drop of Drambuie - First Contact brings musical disharmony.
Excerpt
(From "Alien Provocateur: Trust No One")
“SO, YOU’RE SAYING I should undertake this rescue mission in my natural form?”
The question skipped around the secret alcoves of Mars 381’s Strategic Chambers. Some eavesdroppers took notes, some scurried away, and some summoned more eavesdroppers. Inside, D’har, Commander of the Rimmed Sector, stood resolute. “I expect new DNA, Prime—just like any other agent. The deal for risking my life is simple: I sign up; you indulge.”
Prime Diligence X1X nodded his agreement. “But Alaenea’s running out of time! Remember your vows, Rimmer. Honour and duty!”
“Remember yours, Diligence. Cash and money! Six million gold fingers per semester in perpetuity.”
“Granted. I simply fear for my wife’s safety. It seems Earth’s scientists have been carrying out experiments on one of their wildlife. They’ve classified her among their local genus of arachnids. This one is something they call the Pholcidae spider.” Diligence’s tone hinted more at annoyance than concern. “You know I was never happy with this self-experimenting phase of hers. They’re virtually water-boarding her.”
“What the hell for?”
“Testing secretions. As it happens, she’s produced something from all the carbon nanotubes and graphene flakes they’re dousing her with. A dragline silk, unmatched in tensile strength and ductility. Successfully trialled as both body armour and a tow rope. Even she’s impressed. They’re calling it Pugnonium after their lead scientist.”
“Who’s that?”
“Nicola Pugno. He’s been running all over the planet, messing with mechanics. Seems he’s trying to create biocomposites.”
Dhar’s eyes flickered a brief blood ruby. “Pugnonium. And they’ve named it after him? Not her? That’s some nerve.”
Diligence X1X nodded. “Everyone covets.”
Alaenea was M-381’s top scientist. Adventurous and warm-hearted, brilliant but maverick, her work on cross-species transition was always a risk. Eight weeks ago, an exploratory solo flight had led to her capture, followed by her subjection to a plethora of pointless trials at the hands of the perfidious Earthlings.
“They’re thinking about weapons, physiological enhancement, everything.”
D’har frowned. “Why doesn’t she just shift back to normal?”
“She thinks it might traumatise them.” Prime Diligence made a squealing noise that on the destination planet would translate as something called a sigh. “Only Alaenea would consider observing experiments on herself. They’ve even given her a nickname. Flossy the Pholcidae Spider. She thinks it’s sweet. ‘Primum, non nocere,’ she says.” Diligence grunted. “It’s some babble that’s listed as one of their languages. It means: ‘First, do no harm’.”
No, D’har thought. First, do plenty of harm.